More thoughts to cramp my fingers

During my Late youth , just out of high school, i commenced to squander great vigor. There thousands of hours spent at a 24 hour diner cold coffe and those lousy cigarettes. I lived out of my car and there were plenty of times my mobile home was not so mobile. I often dreampt of being able to travel the country and see the places and meet the people, and some how get paid for it. Now, if i was a great writer or photographer, no problembo. But ahh alas i was not. so i just kept smokin drinkin coffe and waiting. Some of you may know this way of life and you may recognize the conditions. Paranoia was a big one.When youve no place else to be , the lastt thing you want is to told to leave the place youre in. So , sitting at a coffe counter for 8 to 16 hours(no , I'm not kidding) is no small feat. Sooner or later you know the working folks will tire of you, and obviously youre not purchasing vast quantities of product, so waiting to get kiked out is alot like waiting for the other boot to fall. Now, take these circumstances, and subtract any substantial diet, add mass quantities of caffine,..... and OUALA! paranoia!
I however had wit and charm and a keen sence of self-substantiation( <--- made that one up).
I would always try to keep my hygine and personal appearance up to social standards, all while constantly finding menial tasks to justify my presance without having to actually apply for and show up on any one's schedule but my own. I never studied pschychiatry i dont even know how to spell it. But Im sure there was a name for my condition in those days. I walked around as though i was king or maybe just a prince, whose country had been stolen from him. What do you do with an unemployed king?
Me niether.
After five or six years of many mundane adventures that would fit nicely into a cops or jerry whats his nuts episode, I got off my pitty potty and steered the 1980 four cylinder monza hatchback that was my life towards prouctivity.
I'm not sure i want to spend the time typing about that, Suffice it to say, it began with staying in one town.
Now I digress. My job at this time feeds the wander lust and is truly the laymans method of acheiving the dream of travel while getting paid. But i dont spend nearly as much time int the damned coffe shop I'll tell you that!
More Later

Cats and Cradles

home for another weekend, of sorts. my weekends consist of me ariving on a friday and leaving sunday around noon ....ish.
All our lives we hear of writers and movies and songsscreaming at us " Our Children!!!!" spend every last moment with our children. Because they'll be gone soon. None of us that I've met, have wanted our children to relive our lives. Something Better. Even the greatest humans on earth, pick one, any one, i dare you,... that was fully satified .
When it comes to our children, we want more good and no bad , none not even a little. It breks my heart to see the innocence fade in my boy. When i stop to think about it the only way...I picture a content human , starts out away from the urban scape jungle, mountains , plains desert,.. maybe not desert LOL. There is man, taking care of his own in harmony with the soil, and the beasts.But then storage, surplus, companionship, security,.... you follow these things and here we are again, another circle of life, hmmm.
I was a very moody child, that is NOT what i wanted for my boy . Now he has it too,... dont get me wrong i had plenty of moments in my youth to look back fondly on, and so does and will he, i just see and hear the lonley meloncholy in his voice sometimes and i know, remember,..and it hurts.
To protect his innocence would be to steal from his life. I just dont ever feel comfortable watching it slowly dissapate from his soul.
I'm avoiding what brought me to the table. Where i fall short as a father. I'm not an energetic man, im a thinker, not like, DaVinci, more like... well......, no one famous thats for damned sure.
I contemplate a LOT i just rarely put it to action. I can observe and disect, and scrutinize and critique. I can make even you stop and think for a while. I can even help and advise,..if you ever had the oppurtunity to meet me you'd admit it. But im not the catch playin soccer teachin, coachin scout leadin hero that we all see on tv. I lack the drive. I had hoped i could put in my son that kind of motivation, however its something thats taught thru example. So....
There , I said it. Guilt.
However I'm not cold unloving slothish or abusive. My son and i do have a lot of good times together, talking and playing video games. He will be better than I. Perhaps as great as his Great grandfather. An awsome man that was.(another time)

Return of the Newby

Now that the first one is done and out of the way, the ideas are just flooding in, pouring from my brain, coursing through my fingers and spilling out on to the screen for you eyes to devour. NOT
I've all kinds of ideas to write about on the road while I am working, but thats not what I'm doin now. Is it?
It's a blog,. I could blurt out all kinds of political ramblings. Or, I could go on and on about my past. "So, Bru,.. How did you end up as a hillbilly's millionaire?"
I think its the vast array of possibilities thats screwing me up. Perhaps, as time goes on, I'll find a topic that suits me and I'll just inceasantly drabble forever. Then some publisher will read this fodder and feel compelled to make me rich! Or, My dog could start peeing vodka. Either way I'd probably find it easier to make money than most. Actually come to think of it, I think I'd prefer the dog pissing vodka thing. More interesting.
My dog , Katie, there's a topic, small, black as ink, long husky coat. When we first got her she arrived as a puppy of of my step-son's dog. The mother bitch (take that either way) tried to smother the litter, then after failing at that commits suicide by sniffing the tires of a moving car. Subsequently, we had to figure out how to nurse a litter of 7 with no previous experience sans my wifes own motherhood, Not Applicable. We ended up finding a bitch that just finished nursing her own litter and was rather pissed to find out her long awaited vacation from titular (i dont know if thats a word) pain was post-poned by some family of strangers that dragged her away from home for two three more weeks.
After that, we had to find homes for all the puppies. It's amazing how few people want their own furry little bundle of love to ruin the carpets. Eventually we found homes for all but Katie and her brother who I wanted to keep. someone came by and stole him, you know,... after no one would accept them during weeks of aggrivation.
Now we were left with Katie. I'll admit i was awful, i screamed at her for everything never paid attention to her, gave her no sense of home or love or self worth. I'm suprised she didnt turn out to be one of those mutts that puddles at the slightest provocation.
Not long after the house training, we had my wife's sister move in with her dog, emily, another lab mix , short black hair and FULL of... personality. The two of them became fast friends. It didn't stop there. We found a pit boxer mix(shaky) and brought him home too. Now the three of them all ran the house , or at least THROUGH the house.
A while later our family had to move. Emily went away to our aunts, and katie and shaky went with us. Nieghbors didnt like shaky and niether did the land lord, I had to give him up. In all our dog is a clingy attention mongering sweet pain in the ass. THERE thats katie.

Entry1a

This is that lame first entry that doesnt seem to hold even your own intrest. However, it must be put in , just to get the show started.
I drive a truck, over the road. It's a Peterbilt 379, and it pulls a flatbed trailer. I travel all 48 states in it. No i am not FAT nor am I from the south, I do not do dope and I am not married to my sister. I do have some mild dental issues but as far ast the stereo types go, ... being "a trucker" doesnt quite descibe me aptly. More later.
The pictures above are of the truck I drive now. I do not own it, I'm a company driver. Lifeis simpler that way.
I'm a father and a husband and like most, I am not up for "of the Year" for either of them. But I don't do too bad. I'm 37. Frankly, I've no Idea the direction I'm gonna take this Blog thing, I just felt like starting one.

Since I'm away from home alot and I dont have a laptop (yet), I'll only be making entries on the weekends that i make it home. Soooooo,... more later