lordbru - Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

lordbru - Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting

21:04:15 3/21/2006
Back at this damned starbucks. I got home for an evening, tomorrow i have to load down in a town south of here called sheridan. I'll put some poles on take them to springfield then come backup here . Short, sweet, low paying, simple. Thursday , i take my son on a field trip. That's something new for me. I hope im not a nervous wreck. I hope my son behaves. I'm sure everything will be fine. Meanwhile back to the moment. Janell didnt want me to go tonight, she doesnt like when i come home and leave her alone. I just havent gotten out much since we moved here 3 years ago. and i sure havent written a damned thing.\par
So this is my kinda me time. you know? I mean even if i dont ever write anything worth a rat turd on a paper plate, I look cool and feel sophisimacated. And oh! how i blend! all these turtlenecks and loafers. Here iI am with 501's, pocket T, and work boots. \par
I reaaly dont like coffee fashion, never have. \par
It comes from teen years, doesnt everythin? I didnt fit with jocks or stoners or clubbers or newro's or nerds. I tell ya thats bad, when even nerds dont want you around. Not smart"

Sunday, April 09, 2006 21:40:47
This weekend i stayed with my sister , Bettina, Even a bad weekend at her and Jacks house is a good weekend. Jack has done very well for himself and is aterrific provider for my sister. Very alpha male hard to be eye to eye with on a few things, however. He and I get along pretty well once he understood that although im opputunistic and some what greedy,.... i know what he has he earned and I appricieate everything he lets me have. That includes his hospitality, his car for litlle jaunts ,... his food and wine and time. This may sound strange but if i had what he had and worked as hard as he did to get it , i would want the people i shared it with to appreciate it too.\par
Bettina has a few photos of our family from my dad's side and our farm and us as children. I was browsing through them and it just plain hurt. I loved being my dad's son. However there were a lot of bitter people and situations around him and I rember those too. Looking at those pictures made me feel desperate to be back then and there with today's knowledge. I saw pictures of me as a child. I felt the love my father had for me becuase i s"

Saturday, March 11, 2006 Sat thru a movie called ' lords of dog town' today.one of those movies that made me feel like bein alone and writing. It's another season for moods. If youre anything like me, then you have a vague idea of what i'm talking about. Occasionally, I'll get a small amount of wander lust. I've learned to put a leash on it. Not always a benifit.I told the wife i wanted to go out today, of course, she did not understand, again. I also have had alot of inklings for another shop of my own. Movies used to really flik my switch when i was younger. I'd watch some movie or another, and presto! I'd have to go. Where? any where! usually only made it to the coffee shop but sometimes, id end up in another town or another state. manic depression. If real estate agencies could bottle that stuff they'd make"

: "3/1/06
Today i listened to a conservative talkshow host who was adressing an
issue that has nothing to do with my life. He really upset me though.
some transgendered individual that works on the phone system in a train
station in New York was arressted for using the womens rooom.
This radio host thought this was correct. He went on to say that the transgender
should use the mens room. The host assumes that trans genders are mentaly ill
and should be institutionalised. I wondered, how would he adress the issue of
of hermaphohrodites? should they be institutionalised? Maybe killed at birth to save
anyone from the discomfort of having to share the restroom with some one whom they
cant sexually identify.Or perhaps, you know, since that would be abortion,
we could just deport them to some libertine country in europe. Forget that
these are people. Fellow human beings with family, jobs, friends, blood in
their veins. fully functioning brains that have shared the planet with us for the history of the human race.
God forbid if someone is chemicly unbalanced in the portion of thier brain that
determines masculine or feminine personality traits. It's a SIN!
I'll tell you whats a sin, yanking people into the lime light and scorning them just becuase theyre different.