Cats and Cradles
home for another weekend, of sorts. my weekends consist of me ariving on a friday and leaving sunday around noon ....ish.
All our lives we hear of writers and movies and songsscreaming at us " Our Children!!!!" spend every last moment with our children. Because they'll be gone soon. None of us that I've met, have wanted our children to relive our lives. Something Better. Even the greatest humans on earth, pick one, any one, i dare you,... that was fully satified .
When it comes to our children, we want more good and no bad , none not even a little. It breks my heart to see the innocence fade in my boy. When i stop to think about it the only way...I picture a content human , starts out away from the urban scape jungle, mountains , plains desert,.. maybe not desert LOL. There is man, taking care of his own in harmony with the soil, and the beasts.But then storage, surplus, companionship, security,.... you follow these things and here we are again, another circle of life, hmmm.
I was a very moody child, that is NOT what i wanted for my boy . Now he has it too,... dont get me wrong i had plenty of moments in my youth to look back fondly on, and so does and will he, i just see and hear the lonley meloncholy in his voice sometimes and i know, remember,..and it hurts.
To protect his innocence would be to steal from his life. I just dont ever feel comfortable watching it slowly dissapate from his soul.
I'm avoiding what brought me to the table. Where i fall short as a father. I'm not an energetic man, im a thinker, not like, DaVinci, more like... well......, no one famous thats for damned sure.
I contemplate a LOT i just rarely put it to action. I can observe and disect, and scrutinize and critique. I can make even you stop and think for a while. I can even help and advise,..if you ever had the oppurtunity to meet me you'd admit it. But im not the catch playin soccer teachin, coachin scout leadin hero that we all see on tv. I lack the drive. I had hoped i could put in my son that kind of motivation, however its something thats taught thru example. So....
There , I said it. Guilt.
However I'm not cold unloving slothish or abusive. My son and i do have a lot of good times together, talking and playing video games. He will be better than I. Perhaps as great as his Great grandfather. An awsome man that was.(another time)
All our lives we hear of writers and movies and songsscreaming at us " Our Children!!!!" spend every last moment with our children. Because they'll be gone soon. None of us that I've met, have wanted our children to relive our lives. Something Better. Even the greatest humans on earth, pick one, any one, i dare you,... that was fully satified .
When it comes to our children, we want more good and no bad , none not even a little. It breks my heart to see the innocence fade in my boy. When i stop to think about it the only way...I picture a content human , starts out away from the urban scape jungle, mountains , plains desert,.. maybe not desert LOL. There is man, taking care of his own in harmony with the soil, and the beasts.But then storage, surplus, companionship, security,.... you follow these things and here we are again, another circle of life, hmmm.
I was a very moody child, that is NOT what i wanted for my boy . Now he has it too,... dont get me wrong i had plenty of moments in my youth to look back fondly on, and so does and will he, i just see and hear the lonley meloncholy in his voice sometimes and i know, remember,..and it hurts.
To protect his innocence would be to steal from his life. I just dont ever feel comfortable watching it slowly dissapate from his soul.
I'm avoiding what brought me to the table. Where i fall short as a father. I'm not an energetic man, im a thinker, not like, DaVinci, more like... well......, no one famous thats for damned sure.
I contemplate a LOT i just rarely put it to action. I can observe and disect, and scrutinize and critique. I can make even you stop and think for a while. I can even help and advise,..if you ever had the oppurtunity to meet me you'd admit it. But im not the catch playin soccer teachin, coachin scout leadin hero that we all see on tv. I lack the drive. I had hoped i could put in my son that kind of motivation, however its something thats taught thru example. So....
There , I said it. Guilt.
However I'm not cold unloving slothish or abusive. My son and i do have a lot of good times together, talking and playing video games. He will be better than I. Perhaps as great as his Great grandfather. An awsome man that was.(another time)
posted by LordBru at 8:03 PM
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